What does success look like?

Success is having to worry about every single damn thing, except for money - Johnny Cash

2021 I managed to completely strike the career and life lottery. I gave up my life in Leeds to move back to Northern Ireland where I ended up with a few nice things:

• Moved back in with parents so didn’t have to pay rent - overall saving a lot
• Wife and I managed to find a house that we want, and have started saving and putting money towards it
• I left my last job, and got a higher paying job
  • Not only was it higher paying, it was also less stressful. The words in this book
  • Fully remote-ish (1 day every so often in their office)
• Slightly cheaper cost of living
• Wife got a new fully remote job that suits exactly what she’s looking for
  
  

From the words of Johnny Cash, this essentially means I have reached the criteria for what success looks like.

Sort of…

Before I left my last job, I reached out to my ex director for a bit of guidance. Not only was I leaving my nice job that paid well and was plenty challenging, I was going into a new job where I would be the only engineer in my team so essentially I was leading the show. This was a big step up from what my last job was. I reached out because I needed my director’s help in knowing a few things:

• What can I do not to get fired in the first few weeks
• What is his personal benchmark of success was
  
  

He gave me great advice on pretty much what makes a great employee, and how to pretty much thrive in my next job. He reassured me that there’s nothing really to be scared about, and that I’ll be ok. It was the second part that was more interesting.

What is your definition of success:

I don’t really have one. If you really want one, I’d choose happiness. - Dan Rathbone

Now that sentence alone floored me. As an asian, we measure success mostly in monetary factors. You are successful if you wear a Rolex. You are successful if you drive a Mercedes Benz. You are successful if you have a big house.

My director easily could have all of the above, however he didn’t choose that way. His answer was this, and it’s remarkably refreshing/honest. When he became director of the now company: he did enjoy it, however it wasn’t the happiest he’s ever been. That’s completely understandable since he’s since being a director is very hard work. It’s extremely long hours, and so much graft that you’d probably never see your family anymore.

His happiest (and what he deems as successful) was when he was working in a previous company. Where he was happy to get out of bed for the job. Happy to work surrounded by some of his friends and having a great laugh. That was his definition of success. He chose that over being acquired for an unruly sum. The difference: former being happy, the latter being rich. Happiness mattered more to him as a measure of great success in life. Money will come and go, but truly happy in work is a rare thing.

Takeaway

Success for many will vary on what you want it to be. Some people have figures, some people have measures, some people have salary in mind. Personally, I’d rather follow what my director says.

From now on, my personal definition will be “Does it make me happy”. As a sidenote, my new job does make me successful. I’m much happier in this job because there’s way less stress. It helps that it pays a lot more which also feeds into happiness. It’s not that I’m incredibly materialistic and etc: it’s that that money helps afford me a lovely standard of living and more. I’m comfortable, and that brings a very big sense of happiness to life.

People could argue that millions and billions of pounds bring them happiness as well because of etc. That’s ok, that’s their personal definition of success. All I’ll say is don’t let that be the end all be all of your personal definition of success, especially if getting to that millions/billions ends up making you seriously unhappy. Choose something that makes you happy.

In fact, it was a quote from the Daily Stoic on 23rd June:

You could enjoy this very moment all the things you are praying to reach by taking the long way around, if you’d stop depriving yourself of them - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 12.1

Basically, Happiness is in your choices. Make wiser choices for the now, and you’ll be less a slave to reaching for happiness of the future.