Getting over work related toxicity

I want to start this with an open letter to all the managers that have ever given me a hard time or made life difficult, anxious, or troubling…

Thank You

Without your subpar guidance, I wouldn’t have left and wouldn’t have found something better. Many people will say “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”. While this is true, it wasn’t you that made me stronger. It was you who made me realise that your management style isn’t suitable for me, and made me make the move elsewhere. Other places have embraced me, and honestly, not everybody gets along with everyone.

Thank you for opening my eyes, and thank you for making me see something that I couldn’t. Thank you for guiding me to a much better path.

For anyone reading this… always remember, that someone’s loss is someone else’s gain.

You may be thinking about why I’m writing this blog post. Did someone anger me in my previous role? Did something go on fire?

Well yes and no. There’s fire somewhere, but honestly, I got out before the smoke came. Let me explain…

Remember I said in one of my old blog post that there was a previous employee who issued a stark warning that I was making a big mistake leaving this company? Well, the thing is, obviously that’s a pretty poisonous/toxic work culture. If you stay there long enough, it will seap into your bloodstream. So get out before the poison gets in. NEVER let a manager control you in a way that you don’t agree with. If you think there is a problem, and the line manager or whoever says “Yea that’s just the way they are, you just gotta get on with it”, then you GET THE FUCK OUT of that company.

The reason I state that is because life really is too short to work with people you don’t like.

The purpose of this post is for all those people who are trapped in poisonous/toxic workplaces. I went through it, my wife went through it. Her’s was much worse. Identifying a toxic workplace can be quite hard, and identifying a toxic person can be very hard. In the end, once you have identified them, you GTFO.

Life is a bit too short to spend time working in a terrible place or for a terrible person. My (and my wife’s) first gig out of education had the most terrible managers/leaders around.

My Senior manager was just a downright cunt. I know that’s not a great word to use but that’s the best way to describe him. He was just a terrible person to work for/with, and his micromanaging terrible ways seaped into other teams as well. He just wanted control of everything.

My wife’s first gig: her’s was a pecking order scenario, with one manager unable to let others make decisions for themselves, they all had to consult her for decisions… that went for both personal life and work life. Drinks out with the team was no longer a fun thing. Imagine having your work manager also dictate your personal life, and what you could/couldn’t do.

The thing is, I need to thank them. Realising that I may have feared them while I was working with them: once I left the job, I realised that they pushed me to better things. Whether they realise it or not, they basically helped me get somewhere better.

This sounds like a backhanded compliment, and truthfully it is. I have to address this in 2 ways.

• Without experiencing the terrible management, I would have never realised that there was better yonder the horizon
• That terrible management may think they were helping, but all they helped with was pushing me away to something better

I have yet to fully address my fear of failure, but the management pushing me away wasn’t a failure on my part, it was successful in that I realised that I didn’t want to be part of that bad management or toxic culture.

For anyone that is stuck in a less than ideal situation where your team is toxic, the manager is a bully, or just in general the culture doesn’t feel right - DO NOT SETTLE. The culture of your workplace is by far the most important thing that you will come across. You owe it to yourself to be happy at work.

Thank your old/current managers for helping guide you to a better path, and don’t look back the ways - Only and always forward.